For this assignment, you will take a look at two different communications that need improving.
Read through both communications carefully, looking for areas that may need improvement. Using concepts you have learned from both the textbook and videos, you will then create an assessment of both communications, identifying what needs improving or changing and why. You will then rewrite the communication based on your written assessment.
Communication 1: Routine Business Email
To: David Lynch
From: Susan Spellman
Subject: Need $17,000 for New Copier
Hi David,
Our office is running out of places to file the physical copies of the new cases we are receiving. As of now, these cases are stacked on desks throughout the office. Because of the increasing workload, we are running behind on getting them copied and scanned into the computer. Recently, I saw a copy machine that has a scanner that scans documents twice as fast as the scanner we are currently using. It is compatible with our computer system. With it, we can create folders on our computers and scan the documents right into their appropriate folders. This will save our staff time, help us to organize the files better, and locate them faster to assist our clients more speedily. I checked around and found our top competitors have purchased it. I think you should purchase it too.
The cost is $17,000, which is a little pricier than others like it on the market. However, considering that we spend over $300.00 every month repairing the outdated one we currently have, the investment in this one will pay off. The company will deliver it, set it up, and train our staff to use it.
We would love to be able to clean up our office space, so the staff can work more efficiently.
Thanks, Susan
Communication 2: Persuasive Email
To: All Employees
From: Pat Jones
Subject: Company Annual Fund Drive
Hello Everyone,
Each year, our company holds a fund drive to benefit our local children’s hospital. Participation has declined annually since the first year, and we have not been able to reach our goal. This is a concern because many people benefit from the services our charitable donation helps the hospital to provide. This year, our goal is to increase the donation to the hospital. While we understand your participation is a personal choice, with your involvement, you can help the company to finally achieve its goal.
You may contact me for more information.
Thank you in advance.
Pat Jones, Annual Fund Drive Coordinator
Your submission should be in a Word document and contain four parts:
Describe improvements that could be made to the routine business communication and explain your rationale using examples.
Describe improvements that could be made to persuasive business communication and explain your rationale using examples.
Rewrite Communication 1 implementing the improvements you suggested.
Rewrite Communication 2 implementing the improvements you suggested.
This course requires the use of Strayer Writing Standards (SWS). The library is your home for SWS assistance, including citations and formatting. Please refer to the Library site for all support. Check with your professor for any additional instructions.
The specific course learning outcome associated with this assignment is:
Assess routine, persuasive, and bad-news business messages for quality and effectiveness.